When given the choice between being right or being kind choose kind.
Wonder by R.J. Palacio.
I once asked someone (let’s call him L), “Are you saying that I’m (one of those people who’re) unreasonably demanding of your time?”
The respond was a very quick, “Yes.”
It was also uttered in a stone-cold manner.
The incident made me asks myself; why do some choose to be right when they can always choose to be kind instead?
I know I would always choose to be kind. There is no loses in being one.
Like when L ranted and blow a tirade of annoyance and anger on me about how maniacal his day was, I chose to be kind. I chose to hear him out even though I myself have had a bad day that day.
When my eldest daughter complaint of a lady who jumped the queue in front of her, I told her to choose to be kind because everyone has challenges to face in life, challenges that the lady may be facing.
I also asked myself why some choose to be right when in the process, they hurt, humiliate, or even belittle the other?
With a stranger, you can brush the incident off. But when this action comes from someone who (supposedly) love and cares for you, won’t you be left feeling confused and unappreciated too?
Yes he is right.
He had a bad day and he deserves some space, respect and privacy to catch his breathe. He’d felt overwhelmed. And rightfully so. He’s right to feel that demands made on him at that moment were unreasonable. He’s also right when he says I’m one of those who is being unreasonably demanding of his attention.
But by being right, L had unintentionally hurt me.
He’d made me feel that my day was insignificant compared to his. He’d made me feel undeserving of some kind words.
Much needed words from a friend, a confidant, to another friend.
So why does someone choose to be right?
Won’t it be better that if we do not feel generous enough to be kind, why not be patient instead?